Monday, August 25, 2014

From Depression to Deliverance

From Depression to Deliverance
I'm hot, sticky and sweaty from working outside in my yard but I had to take the time and give God thanks. My heart is full right now because as Travis and I were raking through the leaves and strategically planning where we would plant our flowers, hedges and next year's hit me...For the first time in four years, we are working in our very own yard!
Looking Homely but Happy :)
I plan to give more detail on our testimony in the book I'm currently writing but I will say this. In the past five years, my family and I have lost so much. We lost our home to foreclosure...(an illegal foreclosure that is). A lawsuit developed and our case was placed into litigation with the thousands of other Americans who suffered the same thing. The homeowners won the law suit but our celebratory bubble quickly burst when we received a $500 settlement check and an apology. They didn't even repair our credit! So Travis and I decided to move closer to his job and our church family. We thought this would be a new beginning but then my sister died and our families fell apart. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse...our church family abandoned us. I didn't know if I could take anymore. My family and faith were all I had left.

While I do not condone suicide, I can understand pain that influences it. Many people were shocked to hear of actor/comedian Robin William's suicide. After all, how could someone who brought so much laughter to others be secretly living in so much pain? My own pain caused me to question my own existence and purpose. Sure, I continued to write and produce plays, post blogs and fulfill my speaking engagements but I was dying inside. Some days I would just cry...even though so many things were right in our lives; my heart carried the burden of all that was wrong. There were others in my family who were hurting and I could do nothing to take their pain away. When my husband was at work and my children were at school, the cloud of loneliness overshadowed my ability to function. My husband did all he knew to try and bring my joy back. Our children showered me with hugs and kisses but I couldn't seem to break away from the feeling of failure and despair. I was battling depression.

I knew how to put on my Cover Girl and act as if the world was my oyster...after all, Christians are supposed to be people of strength...not Debbie Downers.....Right?

Long story I am rejoicing because what once felt like the breaking of me has actually become the making of me. No matter what you are going through..God can. Even though there are times when you can't see the light of day...God CAN and he DID!

Four years ago my husband and I lost a four bedroom, 2 bath 1600 square foot home to foreclosure. Today we are the blessed owners of a 3300 plus square foot, four bedroom, three bath home WITH an additional 800 square foot guest home ON five acres of land; lined beautifully with (my favorite) pecan trees PLUS my husband finally has his own fishing pond. Ain't God good!!!

Your days may seem dark now but they won't be forever. Sometimes trials are just a trying of our faith and sometimes we are reaping what we've sown but I've come to know without a doubt that as long as we lean on God ALL the time we will be victorious! He may not come when you want him but he is always on time! So hold on and never give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel now GO FOR IT!!!
Joel 2:25
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

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