Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Frozen Smiles

Anger resteth in the bosom of fools (Eccl. 7:9)…WOW.

For the wrath of a man worketh not the righteousness of God….Left Right…Uppercut to the jaw…James 1:20.

Please excuse me while I preach to myself. The word of God is truly sharper than any two-edged sword and right now its cutting me left and right. You see a few months ago, my family was made aware of some news that revealed an ultimate betrayal. The kind of “If I weren’t saved, I would be “catching a case” news.

So for the past few weeks, I found myself once again on an emotional roller coaster. Struggling to love and not hate. I’ve never had to battle feelings of hate before. No seriously…I’d be lying if I said that my mind hasn’t been to some really dark places. Shocked???? Are you asking “How can this so-called woman of God be feeling this way?” I know right….but I feel safe in writing that even if you don’t want to admit it, some of you have battled these emotions before. I’ll be honest. I wish I could write about it. I wish I could expose this to whole world but my purpose would only to be to hurt those who have hurt me and my family. So I won’t. Besides, God won’t let me. Instead, I am using this test as a testimony because in spite of the hurt that I feel….I choose to love.

I can now see how a person could go postal if they don’t have God by their side. Your emotions can fuel some of the worst decisions if not guided by God. You’ve heard the term, crime of passion and I’m not focusing on murder (I’m not morbid). Truth is…Hurt people hurt people. Bottom line. There is always a reason for every action. The trick is finding out what that reason is. Sometimes it goes all the way back to a person’s childhood. And that’s what I am trying to do. I’m trying not to look at the person(s) but the spirit behind it. But it’s so hard when it seems like they know they are hurting you and they could care less.

I had someone to tell me the other day that I seemed to have it all together. To which I responded, “It ain’t nobody but God that’s holding me together.” There are so many people walking around with frozen smiles and hidden hurts. They are on the brink of the ultimate breakdown. I’ve always been able to discern another person’s pain but now my God-given senses are more keener because I sit in a new seat. In the past twelve months, my family has lost 11 loved ones. Triple that if you count the relationships that have been severed. I’ve really had to bury myself in God’s word and doing kingdom work to keep my sanity. God has helped my family and friends to be a strong fence around each other. When one of us got loose and weak, he sent the master carpenter to come and mend our weak places and help us to stand.

I encourage you all not to be shallow Christians. Take the time and pay attention to those around you. Ask God to show you the difference between the frozen smiles and the sincere ones. Every time I hear about killing sprees and senseless acts of violence, I wonder about the person who committed them. I wonder about the children of God who had access to them. I wonder if they took the time to recognize their frozen smiles. Look past the man and focus on their  pain. It will soften your heart. That’s my challenge and I aim to accomplish it.

From My Heart to Yours

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