Friday, September 4, 2015

What Every Woman Wishes Her Man Would Remember

Last week, I posted a blog for women entitled "Ten Things Your Man Wishes You Would Stop Doing". Men, now it's your turn. I could blog all day long about the many things women say they wish their man would stop doing. Instead, I decided to blog on the one "relationship sore" many couples face....A Woman's Emotions.

Women are emotional beings by nature. I believe God made us this way for two reasons: First, because our sensitivity is key to our ability to nurture. Two, because he needed a source that would eventually bring difference between man and woman. I believe our emotions are what God was talking about when he said in Genesis 3:15,"And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel."

One of the most attractive things about a man is his ability to attentively listen to and understand a woman's feelings. Most women are expressive. We love to voice our thoughts, feelings and emotions. When something is bothering us, it's difficult for us to hold it in. Even when we say nothing is wrong you'd best believe our eyes, tone of voice and body language will let you know otherwise. 

Men, it's never a good idea to say to your woman" 
I get tired of hearing about your feelings. 
You are letting that lil thing get to you?
Why are you always so emotional? 
It ain't that bad.
I'm tired of talking.

Now, while I understand that we women can get OVERLY emotional at times and need to learn balance; downplaying your lady's feelings is NOT going to make the situation better. Remember back in the day, when you were all suave with your words; even when you really didn't understand where in the heck she was coming from? Remember when you truly wanted to understand? Remember when you would do something fun or silly just to take her mind off of things? Remember when you would just listen until she got it all out? Or better yet, remember when she would say "Babe, it doesn't make me feel good when you say or do "such and such" to me and you actually stopped?" That is what initially attracted her to you. That is part of what helped her to decide that she wanted to pursue a relationship with you. Changing up the game now that you have said I do is not fair and a total breach of contract.

I understand. Times change. People change. And yes, there should be some compromise on BOTH ends but for the most part, going from tenderly listening to her to constantly belittling how she feels isn't fair either. The only thing it does is pushes her farther away from you. It's hard for  women to feel close to our men when we are forced to bottle us our emotions. How can we let you in when we are carrying so much inside? We simply are not built that way. If you have noticed a difference in your woman...if she has all of a sudden went silent..back track to when her change first started. I can almost guarantee you it started when you first began fanning away at her feelings.

It's a good thing when we are talking, it's when we stop talking that you should worry. Our silence says the process of an emotional detachment has begun...soon everything else will follow. We are not asking for a million dollars. We are not asking for a vacation to Hawaii every other week. We are simply asking that you listen and at least attempt to understand. We are asking that you respect who we are as individuals. We ask that you remember, we are ladies. We are soft. We are delicate. When our words turn hard, most of time it's because we are responding to way we are being treated. If you want her to be a rose..then treat her like one. Give her special delicate care and then be patient with her. If this battlefield of emotions has been going on for quite some time, it might take a moment to weed out all of the thorns...but that was a seed that YOU planted. It's up to YOU to remove them. Show her the same strength in emotions you've been preaching to her about by being patience and a little lot more understanding. You can do and she'll love you all the more for it.

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