Ten Things Your Man Wishes You Would STOP DOING!

First, I would like to start this blog off with a disclaimer:

By, no means am I trying to imply that I have "arrived". To be honest, I am still struggling with a couple of items on this list. But as I aim to do better, prayerfully I will also encourage my fellow sisters to do better. 

My wonderful hubby and I have been married for over 19 years. We've seen our shares of ups and our shares of downs. We were both very young when we first married. There was so many things I didn't know as a young wife...small things that would eventually become  annoying habits to my husband. If I would have known then what I know now.... I wouldn't change a thing...Why? You ask? Well because, God knew that I would eventually blog about my mistakes one day in efforts to help someone else...

So here is my list. Some of these things may seems mi'nute but sometimes it's the small things that make the biggest of difference. So here goes....

1.Wearing your head wrap 24/7...

Ladies, if this is what your husband sees first thing in the morning and right before he goes to sleep at night...there's a problem. Remember when you used to keep yourself all "fixed up and purty" for him? We can be so hypocritical sometimes. We complain and say to our hubbies "You never take me out anymore. You don't romance me anymore" Well, can you see why? I'm not saying that we should be dressed up like a supermodel every time he comes home. After all, once the kids come, finding time to brush your teeth can become a

challenge. Give yourself at least thirty minutes to freshen up before he comes home. It doesn't take much. You'd be amazed at what a little lip gloss, brush of the hair and a welcome home smile can do. 

2. Calling yourself fat. 

It's not uncommon for a woman to struggle with her body image. We always seem to find

that one imperfection to obsess over. I have been guilty of dampening the mood at times by calling myself fat whenever my hubby complimented me. While I can't speak for every man, I feel confident in saying MOST men love a confident woman. According to my husband, men love the way we ladies strut into the room all "purtied" up for date nite. The quickest way to dim your man's shining glance is by poo pooing on the moment with an "I look fat in this dress" comment. So what if you've put on a few extra pounds. 

Enjoy the fact that there is a little more of you to love until you lose the weight. He doesn't mind. His love for you is through the thick and thin. So go on girl...Strut your stuff!

3. Looking at your cell phone while he's talking.

Yeah...still working on this one. If you are like me, your mind never stops running. You use your phone for everything. You can check emails, make a Facebook post and write your shopping list while cooking dinner and doing the laundry. BOOM..... or more like SPLAT! 

When he comes home..give him your undivided attention. He needs the same listening ear you had all those years ago when you first started dating. He needs to know you still care. He needs to see your eyes and know that you are listening.

4. Worrying about other women.

There is nothing more irritating to a man than an insecure sister who thinks her husband is looking at every woman who walks by. I understand there are some women who have every reason to worry and in that case, you have some decisions to make. But for those of us who are blessed with faithful husbands. STOP IT! 

Thank God for blessing you with a faithful husband and stop being so easily intimidated. There will always be other women who are prettier than you, skinnier than you and smarter than you but there will never be another you. You are the woman he loves. Don't you think it's time for you to start loving you? Maybe then you won't worry as much.

5.Taking his strength for granted. Forgetting that he hurts too.

Men aren't as emotional as women. Most of them are conditioned to hold in their feelings and sometimes that results in them acted out in other ways. Just because he didn't say it hurt him doesn't mean it didn't. Pay attention to him. If he's not one to come right out and say it, his body language will. Sometimes we ladies think we can just say anything to our husbands and it won't phase them (especially in the heat of the moment). Male or female, words hurt. In this case I'll take it to the word, do unto others as you would have

them do unto you. 
Sometimes he needs a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes he gets discouraged. Sometimes he gets scared and sometimes he feels insufficient. Always remember to speak life into your husband. A wise woman will build UP her home. God made women givers of life so we must always remember to speak life into our families.

6.Comparing him to other men, former boyfriends or your father.

If you don't want him comparing you to other women then don't you compare him to other men. Stop living in the past.  "Johnny Roy" did it, not your husband. We all have painful memories from our past and if you find yourself still struggling with those fears then talk to him about it, pray to God about it and chose to let it go. You can never go forward in life if you are constantly looking back. Your next is now!

7.Talking while he's watching the game.

Just don't do it. Tried it and it doesn't work........ NEXT!

8. Treating him like he's your child.
I know it's hard to come out of mommy mode when the hubby's home but do it anyway. My husband can be the biggest kid when he's with our children. I get so irritated when he and the kids decide to pillow fight with the same sofa cushions I just spent the last ten minutes fluffing. I am a strong willed person by nature so it's a struggle for me. Sometimes I sound like commando even when I don't mean to. It helps to be mindful of your tone and approach when addressing your husband. Talk to him in same manner you would like for him to talk to you. 

9. Telling everybody your business.

It's all about knowing your boundaries. There are some things that should remain private between a husband and his wife. I can't tell you how many couples we have counseled; each complaining of the other party constantly running to "momma nem", friends...

eh hem...the opposite sex to discuss issues in the home. 

Everyone needs a confidante they can trust but not an entire community. I've come to learn that people who constantly tell other people their business is doing so because they are looking for someone to side with them or pity them. My question to them is always "So whatchamecallic said you were right. Now what?" The only way to resolve an issue is to work TOGETHER as a couple. Seek counsel if need be, but keep the majority out of your

business.

10. Telling him no.

What is it about sex after marriage? You couldn't stop giving it up before you got married

but the moment sex became legal in the eyes of God, it loses it's savor. Yes, you've been with the kids all day. Yes, you've been at work all day. Yes, you've been cleaning all day and slaving over a hot stove. Yes, you are tired...but you know what...that's life. It comes with the territory. Been there done that.  Unless you plan on waiting until your children are grown, you've retired and hired both a chef and a maid to resume a romantic relationship with your husband, something has got to give. Just like you find time to watch hours and hours of reality TV, trend on Facebook and talk on the phone, find time for your man...and then enjoy it. :)

There is no such thing as the perfect husband or wife but our love for each other should be perfect. If you want change in your marriage then be the change you would like to see. It starts with you....

Straight Outta Compton: What Every Christian Should Remember

So Straight Outta Compton blew box office charts making it the number one movie in America. And while there are those of us who opted not to go and see the movie, there are some of us who still supported the advertising efforts by using the "Straight Outta" Meme (Yeepp, that was FREE advertisement for them). I can't help but wonder if maybe...just maybe if we stopped supporting mess; would they stop producing mess? Just think about it...if television is this foul now...what will it be like for our grandchildren later?

If you are still undecided on whether or not you want to fatten the pockets of the enemy's camp by buying a ticket to go and see this movie, please read THEIR parent's guide. 

(Sarcastically speaking)You have to appreciate the enemy's boldness nowadays...He doesn't mind you knowing his work is full of filth...but that's probably because he knows you will watch it anyway....

Sex: God's Beautiful Gift to Marriage

One of the most beautiful experiences in this world is the sweet moment when a person falls in love. Everything in your world changes when you finally meet the person you know you are going to be with for the rest of your life. We've all prayed to God to send us that special someone who will love us unconditionally and support us through the good times and the bad.We give God a list of everything we would like to have in a spouse. We even remind God of his word in our prayers saying "Lord, you said ask and we shall receive so please do this for me." But why do we find it difficult to maintain God's Holy Standard once we meet the love of our life? Why do we contaminate our relationship with God and our mate by blatantly disobeying the word of God whenever we give into our fleshly lusts. We kiss. We touch. We fondle. Curiosity gets the best of us and we begin to wonder "What does he look like? What does she look like?"  and eventually....we fornicate. 

I know we are living in this new age society where today's generation feel we should change with the times but the soul saving truth is while the times have changed, but God hasn't.Today's mindset condones fornication by saying "How do you know if you'll like it if you don't try it first? or "We already know we are going to be together so we might as well"... God blessed us with his perfect love and then we contaminated it with sin.

God created the heavens and the earth thousands of years ago and established rules for us to follow. As time progressed, man decided he knew better and proceeded to disregard those rules calling them old fashioned and traditional. 
Now, here we are, a whole new world suffering from high divorce rates, broken homes, sexual perversion, teen pregnancies, STDs, murder/suicides and increased atheism. The family unit is broken all because man decided he knew better than God. 

People forget, sex was never meant for courtship. Sex was God's gift to marriage. It is the consummation of a union welded together forever. It is God's gift to you and your spouse but it is to only be opened AFTER you are married. People who have sex before marriage fail to realize they are actually stealing from God. You can't receive a gift until it has been presented and God is saying "Nope, not until after the wedding."

While we have all made our share of mistakes, it 's never too late to repent and start fresh (even if you have made some not so good choices in your current relationship). Talk with your significant other and make the choice to honor God's word. If he or she is not willing to wait, then they aren't the person for you. I'll be the first to admit, keeping your flesh under subjection is a serious challenge when you are dating the person you love. Especially when you've reached the point of love. You love the God in them. You love them for loving you unconditionally. You love them for their determination and drive. You feel complete when you are with them and you literally ache when you are apart from them. A million beautiful sisters or fine brothers could stand right in front of you but all you see is your love. You are ready to spend the rest of your life with this person.

When it comes to dating someone you love I encourage you to keep it Holy. No pun intended when I say this but it's important to remember the best kiss is God's KISS.

Keep God at the forefront of your relationship and your virtue will remain in tact. Mark 10:9
Involve yourself with a man or woman who is completely sold out to Christ & dedicated to obeying his word. II Corinthians 6:14
Study the word of God together as a couple. Hold each other accountable. Remain obedient to God's word & his instructions on dating. I Corinthians 7: 1-9
Sex..wellll...."You can't have sex if you ain't married yet!" I Corinthians 7:9

The blessings of God are poured upon those who obey him. Start your marriage off right and enjoy the never ending benefits of God's unmerited favor and blessings!

What Does Watching Reality TV Say About You?

Okay! Okay! I will be the first to admit, there USED TO BE a time when I was completely hooked on reality TV. I didn't agree with any of what I was watching but I was fascinated by the inexcusable and inane behavior you wouldn't normally see in the picture perfect lives of celebrities. I got caught up in the week to week shade, girl fights and never ending drama of who said what about whom. Whenever my husband would confront me, I tried to justify my watching those shows by saying that it was a learning tool because in all honesty, I thought such foolishness only existed in the movies. My logic was "If I'm going to teach against it, I need to know something about it." I ignored my husband's advice to "turn that mess off". I ignored the constant bleeps that rang throughout each episode. As a matter of fact, after a while I didn't hear the bleeps. I heard the profanity because I knew in my head what they were actually saying.

My own children quit watching TV with me because they didn't feel comfortable with the curse words and constant fighting. It wasn't until after I had watched a full season of week to week drama when I had a light bulb moment. One of my daughters walked into my room one night and said 'Momma, why are watching this? All they do is fight and cuss." and then she left the room. I immediately felt embarrassed and ashamed. She was right just as my husband had been all along.

The truth is, there is nothing positive, uplifting or edifying about 99% of the reality TV shows many of us watch. Reality TV is centered around sexual perversion, promiscuity, broken friendships, betrayal and lies....in other words..SIN. A few weeks ago, I posted a question on Facebook asking my friends to name a TV show they wouldn't mind watching in the physical presence of Jesus. Out of 23 comments only two named reality TV shows and those two shows were Shark Tank and House Hunters. The rest named shows from the 80s and 90s. So, what does that say about the quality of TV today?  What does that say about how God would feel about what we are watching? Why are we supporting and watching the very thing that displeases God?

As children of God, we are commanded to stand firm on God's word and maintain his standard but sometimes we lose focus and fall prey to satan's clever ploy to distract us from his wicked agenda by entertaining us through ungodly means. We foolishly promote his wickedness by increasing the ratings each time we tune in. We help satan gain TV ad sponsors with those same ratings. We make him rich from the acquired TV ads. We encourage Reality TV stars, music artists, actors and actresses to continue in their lifestyle of sin whenever we watch, buy, listen to and/or "Facebook like" their blasphemous and abominable work. We help them sink farther into their lifestyle of sin when we add them to our "christian" albums and movies by using their name and status for our own personal gain. We give satan free advertisement whenever we have online Scandal, Empire, Power and Being Mary Jane parties. We do all of this even though the word of God tells us to Abstain from all appearance of evil. (I Thessalonians 5:22) And then we have the nerve to complain about the world going to hell in a handbasket!!!

Long story short, anytime we support anything that displeases God, we are supporting what he hates...SIN! I know you are probably thinking, "If I quit watching everything that displeases God, I won't be able to watch any TV." And you are right, the vast majority of television shows, movies and music contain a hideous amount of profanity, sex and lured material. And guess what! We are part of the blame. According to gallup.com, 77% of Americans identify as Christian, still we have the LEAST amount of influence in the world today. Over the years, we have conformed to the ways of the world. We accept whatever they gave to us instead of taking a stand and boycotting anything that we knew would displease God. Imagine how much better this world would be if we would have continued to take a stand without wavering. God knew in the last days men would become lovers of themselves; choosing to satisfy the flesh rather than stand strong in his word so he sent a prophetic warning through his word. I had to repent for my part and I encourage you to do the same.It is vital we do not become complacent in this world. We are to be of this world but not in it. We must pay CLOSE attention to what we are allowing in our homes via the television, music, conversation and even friends.

The next time you are watching reality TV, a movie or even listening to music...ask yourself "What does me watching this say about me or my commitment to God?'

My Very First Herb Garden!

Did you try something new this summer? My daughter decided to try her hand at gardening. She grew tomato, okra and red potatoes. I decided to give growing herbs a try and I must admit, I like it!! I never realized how much of a difference fresh basil makes when cooking spaghetti. Now if I can only get my parsley and cilantro to ante up! Sooo TELL ME TELL ME...What did you try new this summer?

BASIL

CILANTRO

OKRA

CILANTRO

TOMATO

You Are More Than An Option!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! You don't have to hurt anymore!!! We've all heard the saying "Never make a person a priority in your life when you are only an option to them." Sometimes that can be easier said than done..This is how you do it...

My Most Embarrassing Moment and Why I Started Teaching Etiquette Classes...

I just had the honor of teaching my etiquette class to 70 plus amazing young women today at Girl Talk. I had a blast doing what I love....teaching young girls how to become extraordinary women! Check out the clip below of me telling one of my embarrassing moments which inspired me to eventually learn about and start teaching etiquette classes.

19 Years and Counting!

I am so blessed to say today my husband Pastor-Travis Mack and I will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary! This year I decided to do something a little different. Instead of posting our wedding pictures or any of our cute couple pics, I've decided to post two pictures that display the core of our marriage. This me 18 years ago. I was seven months pregnant and in the hospital with Pre-eclampsia. I was bedridden and my blood pressure was so high I could barely see. The doctors were uncertain about whether or not our daughter would survive because her lungs were underdeveloped and premature labor was imminent. I was scared...But my husband was my strength..I would doze off and wake up to him praying for me and our baby. I had no idea I looked like the Michelin tire man..LOL.. because he kept telling me how beautiful and strong I was. Out of all of our photos, these two are my favorite because they show affirmation of our vows...for better or for worse...in sickness and in health.... Travis, I love you with everything in me and I love God even more for giving me you. Happy Anniversary and I look forward with many many many more!

Mother's Day Gift Ideas

How to Make McCormick's Sicilian Chicken and Pasta

Check out my latest cooking tutorial/ review vlog on how to make Sicilian Chicken & Pasta using McCormicks Skillet Sauce

 

 

 

 

Why You Shouldn't Pray for Bobbi Kristina......

Please hear me out before you judge this video blog entitled "Why You Shouldn't Pray for Bobbi Kristina" There's more to this topic than you think.

What to do When They Snub You

Published on Youtube April 13, 2015

So I just got snubbed today ....to the tenth power...lol. Please enjoy this video blog "What to Do When They Snubb You"...PS..please excuse my makeup I got caught in the rain. #‎keepitclassynottrashy

 

 

Dream Builders. Dream Killers. Dream Stealers.

B shares her life lesson learned about Dream Builders. Dream Killers. Dream Stealers. ‪#‎shareifyoucare‬ ‪#‎silenceisgolden

$20 Hallway Table

It can be discouraging when you have champagne tastes while on a kool-aid budget (and no I don't drink) but you catch my drift. I wanted to find an inexpensive way to spruce up my hallway so I decided to look for a small accent table. As you can see my hallway was kind of blah....

I bought this cute little table from a local antique shop for only $20!

After thoroughly cleaning and wiping it down with my left over deglosser, I spray painted the table using Rust-Oleum Metallic Spray Paint.

And Voila! I have a new look for my hallway!

Noisy Quiet of Nature

TODAY IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!! I have a ba-zillion topic ideas to blog about and several workshops to be planning but lately and for some reason whenever I sit down to write and plan, I go blank. So today I decided to clear my head by taking a nice stroll outside while my husband worked at clearing the leaves from our pond. And believe it or not, it was the noisy quiet of God's sweet nature that gave me the refreshing I needed to get back on track.

 

This morning God blessed us with a light rain and then a pleasant breeze this afternoon. The outdoor quiet was filled with the gentle rustle of leaves blowing in the wind. The sunlight glistened on top of the rippling pond water and the birds chirped lightly in the distance. It was all so relaxing and beautiful.

God used the quiet outdoors to loudly remind me of his simplicity. Some of his most beautiful creations can be found in the simplest of forms. Today, God reminded me to "keep it simple" and to stop overthinking everything. Today's world is filled with so much over-the-top vanity.

Still this world seems to be going nowhere fast. Imagine how productive we would all be if we remembered to "keep it simple". 

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to go the extra mile. After all, it takes hard work to accomplish excellence and success. But sometimes productivity is halted because of our complex thinking. If God called you to do it then he will see you through it. For the times when you are feeling stressed and unproductive, take a moment to relax and enjoy God's creations. That's why he made them...because...YOU DESERVE IT!

 

Budget Friendly DIY Christmas Decor Ideas

Please watch and enjoy my video blog on Budget Friendly DIY Décor Ideas. Also be sure to drop Bath and Body Works and check out their Holiday Collection of Scented Candles. The hubby and I went candle shopping and had a wonderful time picking out the perfect Holiday Scent for our home! Merry Christmas!

Hickory Nut Christmas Decorations

My son picked a bag full of hickory nuts while visiting my parents one weekend. Little did he know, these nuts are perhaps the most difficult to crack. I decided to improvise and turn these meticulous nuts into Christmas decor.  The picture below is pretty self explanatory! Before you pay high dollar for Holiday decorations, check your backyard. You never know what you will find!