Surviving Ministry & Marriage

My husband and I were practically born into the church. Serving God has  been in our blood literally from day one. But still, I don’t think either of us was prepared for the emotional, mental and physical toll ministry can take on a family. When you have the added task of building both a healthy marriage AND ministry, it ain’t always sweet. Unlike many pastors today, my husband and I did not inherit a congregation. Our ministry was started from scratch. 

Travis and I have been blessed with the honor of pastoring an elite group of soldiers for Christ we call REAL Faith Church. While our church family is currently small in number, our members have the hearts of giants when it comes to kingdom business. There are so many things God has in store for our ministry and we are excited about where He is getting ready to take us. But still, there is a responsibility that comes with leadership that can be daunting at times. And that’s the never ending call to serve.

Pastors and pastor wives don’t get to clock out after the benediction. Our call to serve continues and most of the time, it’s unbeknownst to the people around us. They don’t know about spontaneous counseling sessions. They don’t know about the late night calls for prayer or service runs to the hospital. They don’t know about the “ghost members” from other churches who call for help because they are too ashamed to go to their own leaders. On top of that, my husband has a secular job. He works grueling twelve hour shifts. I can’t tell you how many times he has worked 12 hour night shift, came home, showered, went to church, ministered, came back home only to get a few hours of sleep before his next shift. My BMackWrites platform is my job and ministry combined. Recently, we had a someone voice their dissatisfaction with my work, citing that they felt like I cared about it more that I do the members. There are people who forget that not only am I a First Lady, I am also small business owner. I go to work just like they do. Unlike them, I don’t have coworkers. As a small business owner, the bulk of the work falls on me. 

So as you can see, there is a pressure that comes with serving. Most times, that pressures interferes with the quality time needed between a husband and a wife. It interferes with the quality time we spend with our children. God is teaching my husband and I the importance of balance. He’s showing us it’s okay to break away for some quiet time alone. He’s delivering us from the guilt trips selfishly placed on us by others.

This past Sunday after church, Travis and I loved on our members, kissed our children goodbye, packed an overnight bag and hit the road. We didn’t plan anything fancy. Just a quick getaway. God showed us favor and we were blessed with a free upgrade to a suite at the hotel. We ordered room service. I snatched off my lashes, snuggled in my husband's arms and kicked back.

We took off our Pastor, First Lady, mom, dad and BMackWrite hats. For the rest of the day, we were simply Travis and Bridgett. I actually wrote this while at the hotel at 4:00 in the morning while listening to my hubby snore. The next day, we both feel re-energized and ready to take on the world. Travis and I have decided to take mandatory getaways at least every three months. It’s needed! If you are in leadership, ministry or business, I encourage you to do the same. The health of your marriage, family and ministry depends on it.