God, Is it Me?

There are those of you who were born with the spirit of excellence and a drive to succeed. You were blessed with the mindset to dot every "I" and cross every "T". You have an eye for detail and the uncanny ability to solve the unsolvable. You say what you mean and you mean what you say. When it comes to Kingdom Business, all brakes are off. You love with the love of God and you give relentlessly. Pleasing God is your ultimate goal. People love you for your gifts still they despise you for your gifts. Your high standard intimidates them. Your days are sometimes lonely. You spend a lot of time encouraging others but who is there to encourage the encourager. After a while, the cold friendless silence begins to consume you and you begin to wonder...."God, is it me?"


I've asked myself this question many times. I was raised to live strong and according to the word of God. But after a while, I found myself extremely weary of not having close friends who were totally sold out for Christ. I wanted friends that would come over for dinner. I missed game night friends. I wanted a best friend again. I was tired of shopping alone or going for mani/pedis alone. So I thought about lowering my standard so that I could fill that void in my life. Of course being the analytical thinker that I am, I had to also consider the outcome of my decision. Lowering my standard would mean abandoning some if not all of the Christian principles on which I was raised and now live. It would mean paying less attention to the care of my husband, my children and our home. It would mean not giving 110% in ministry and my business. It would mean being less trustworthy....I couldn't become that person and so I chose to hold onto my standard.

Still, I wanted to make sure..so I asked God again..."God, is it me?" This time he quickly replied, "No daughter, it's the me in you. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10. It's not that you have been running people away . You've been trying to befriend the wrong people. I'm taking you to another level in life. It's time you surround yourself with people with the same mindset."

I never realized that with questioning myself, I was questioning the God in me. I thank God for the gifts he's placed in me and I aim to use them to the best of my ability. Yes, some days will be lonely but if you look deep inside you will find comfort in the God in you. Be the best you God made you to be!!!