Each morning I awaken to the harsh reality that my sister is gone from this earth. Throughout the day I struggle to remain focused on my tasks at hand. As a family, we have never experienced loss to this magnitude and we are still learning how to properly grieve. For me there are times when even my good days are my bad. On a good day, when I am in the zone, whether it's working on GO Ministries, writing or cleaning that momentarily, I forget she's gone and by instinct I pick up the phone to call her. Its three months later and I still pray to be delivered from that habit. I have not lost my faith or trust in God. I know that he sees what I don't see. I thank God for his compassion and grace. A few weeks ago, God blessed me with a gift that will stay with me forever.
I was taking an afternoon nap when God blessed through dream. This dream was pure tunnel vision. I couldn't see to the left or to the right, just straight ahead. At the end of the tunnel was the top of two waterfalls. They were so close they were touching. The water was crystal clear with hints of electric blue. The blue color was one like I've never seen before. The water glowed and illuminated the crystal blue colors. I heard Toshia singing. I didn't see her but I heard her voice. I can't even tell you what she was singing but it was angelic. Then I saw a clear hand extend into the water. (It had no flesh. It was clear like glass) The fingers played in the water as Toshia sang. I knew it was her hand. Then the tunnel vision closed and I woke up
I tried to go back to sleep so that I could reenter dream again. I wanted to return to that place of tranquility and indescribable peace. Mere words can't truly describe what I saw. All I know is, I wanted to see more. I didn't want to leave.
I tried to go back to sleep so that I could reenter dream again. I wanted to return to that place of tranquility and indescribable peace. Mere words can't truly describe what I saw. All I know is, I wanted to see more. I didn't want to leave.
I believe God gave me a glimpse of what Tot is experiencing right now and I thank him for that. One would think that vision alone would dry all my tears. And it did to some extent. As children of God, we rejoice whenever one of us makes into heaven but as humans we hurt over the temporary loss. As a big sister, I mourn but as a child of God, I rejoice. Heaven is so very real and I will work with all my might to get there some day and I plan to take as many people possible with me. Let's not forget our real purpose in life. It's not to reach our three score and ten. It's not to obtain carnal gain. It's to walk and live in Christ and spread his good news to those who are lost. In a world that's quickly losing focus, I encouraging you to walk in God's tunnel vision.
From My Heart to Yours
BMackWrites~
